So, I had the conversation the other day. Yes, the conversation. The one that was tearing me up and making me feel schizophrenic.
And it was good!
I didn't think it was going to happen. I worked up the nerve to text the person I needed to talk to, and ask to meet, and I received a text back saying she was to busy to talk in the foreseeable future, but we'd get together "sometime". As far as I was concerned, that was it. It wasn't going to happen.
But then, the very next day, I ran into her at the gym. Apparently, she didn't notice my car in the parking lot, and therefore didn't manage to avoid me.
So we talked. Right there in the middle of the gym with people milling around us the entire time. We talked for almost an hour. And it was nothing like the conversation I had been having in my head.
It was better.
I walked away from that conversation with a weight lifted off of my shoulders. So this is what people mean when they talk about closure. I've never actually experienced it before.
I feel fabulous. I am no longer feeling angry or resentful. I no longer feel torn about my decision to end our friendship. I feel serene. I know I've made the right decisions. I know that I am progressing in my life the direction I want to go. I know that I am feeling happy and I can truly wish happiness for her as well. I just don't plan to be there to see it.
And that's good.
Hurray for an end to schizophrenia and a beginning to a new chapter of my life.